Journey Of A Camper On Drugs

D had fond memories of her seven summers as a camper at Maqua in the mid-60’s. After the first few years, she would stay for all four sessions. Her last summer at camp was spent as a kitchen aid in the early 70’s. She described herself as mischievous back then, but she got along with everyone. She still had friends who were campers and could not wait to return the following year.

“For some reason, the new director took an instant dislike to me. I do not know if it was my personality or something else she had heard. During a break between sessions, ten of us went back to M’s cabin where we all smoked marijuana, some for the first time. I’d tried marijuana previously and even had some at camp with me, but never smoked it in camp.”

“When I applied to be a junior counselor for the following season, the director denied me. I was devastated. I adored going there. I had the best childhood and Maqua was a big part of it. The relationships were so great and even the staff didn’t snub us as kids. I loved that we were doing stuff all the time. I had wonderful relationships with Dorthe and Beanie and others, and stayed in touch with many of them. Those relationships were a uniting force.”

“Maqua was life transforming for me. It was like a little dream come true. Going to the reunion in 2012 was very healing for me. I realized then what a loss I’d been carrying around all these years. I had assumed I would be coming back as a junior counselor after the summer as a kitchen aid. When I was denied, I felt like my arm had been chopped off. We all had so much in common and it wasn’t anything to do with our parents being friends or our friendships back home. It was about the special camp relationships.”

“The denial of the junior counselor position coincided with the beginning of twenty-five years of active addiction. By the age of fifteen, besides marijuana, I had already experimented with many different types of drugs. When I told some of the staff at the reunion, they told me they wished they’d known, so they could have helped. But, no one could have helped at that time.”

“Despite my addiction, I was always a good student. After receiving my Bachelor’s degree, I moved to California and tutored math at a community college for a while. Ultimately, I went to law school in California, still heavily into drugs, but I took the bar exam and passed it. I got high right after my swearing in.”

“Staying in school seemed like the easiest course since my parents were willing to continue paying for everything. I did use my law degree and ran a clinic for substance-abusing women, and also worked for the local Family Court restraining order clinic. I won awards for my pro bono work. I was telling myself I was a functioning addict until one day I realized I’d made an oversight in a situation that could have affected someone else’s life. So, I stopped practicing. My fallback was to return to school again for my Masters in Public Interest Law.”

“In the early 90’s, my father passed away. Because my Mom and I were so close, I moved back to Michigan. I was struggling, so I entered into grief therapy, which ultimately turned into substance abuse therapy. Eventually, I went to inpatient treatment at Hazelden and got clean. Now I am doing what I always wanted to do.”

“I have my masters in social work, work as a substance abuse therapist and most importantly, I’m in recovery. I just celebrated twenty years clean. Looking back over those twenty-five years of active addiction, there were many difficult times. I spent time in jail and came close to death several times. Basically, my life at that time was about using.”

“The trajectory of my life has been unusual, but I feel that I somehow landed on my feet. I believe I am more whole as a person and I understand that life is about relationships. It came full circle at the reunion and I realized the friendships I developed while at Maqua truly helped to shape my life.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.